Well, starting week two of quarantine. Still don't have any symptoms, so that's a good sign. I'm bored, but I gotta say, breaks from social media make me feel less alone. It's kinda weird. I think it's cuz I don't see all the stuff people are doing that I'm not doing or whatever if I had to guess. That being said, I still miss people and can't wait to be back on the roster for doing random stuff.
Love y'all. See ya soon I hope
So, why am I away from social media right now? Well, I just find my memories are like open wounds. Till they heal, messing with them will just te-open them. When I see the people who made those memories, whether they be bad memories or good memories I know will never happen again, it's like reopening those wounds. Additionally, I'm sick and tired of this whole "oh yeah, we should totally hang out sometime" stuff because sometime never comes. It makes it really hard to believe that they actually want to hang out ever and I am just done with it all. For me social media has always been a thing to be a "until we can hang out in person" type thing. But if people aren't ever going to actually try to hang out the forget it. So yeah, that's why.
That being said, I'm not abandoning anyone. I wouldn't be doing this if there was even one person that I cared about that wouldn't have a way to contact me if they needed, or don't have means to figure out how to if they want to. If you're reading this, I'm always here for you if you need me. Call me at 2:00am if you need, I don't care. I will drop what I'm doing if there's anything I can ever do to help you
One set of prints in the snow. If something happened to me, no one would know. At least not for a while. There wouldn't be anyone there in time to help. That's what scares me. Not that I will not be able to be helped, but that at some point I won't be able to help. It scares me when people want to isolate themselves, whether it be out of fear, pain, anything. It scares me because I won't be able to help and that's the one thing that I want to do for my friends and those are considered to be my family the most.
So if you're reading this, I'm here for you. No matter what happens, I am always here for you. Doesn't matter if it's the dead of night, if you need someone to help you, call. If you need someone to talk to, call. I live to serve and sometimes the greatest way for me to receive love is to be able to show it. I will lay my life down for you if need be without a second thought, and have absolutely no regrets. Anyone who knows me knows that I hold nothing back, and there is no length to which I will not go for those that I love.
There are some elements of fear that are given to us as gifts from God to keep us safe. There are other elements however, caused by the devil to cause divisions. I reference a time when I wasn't sure if I should reach out to my friend on their birthday because we hadn't talked for so long, and I was worried it would be awkward at best. However, as Will Smith said, "God placed the best things in life on the other side of terror."
It also kinda reminded me of how much a simple "thank you" can really mean. I mean, I don't know what I expected from my friend considering the circumstances, but it wasn't for them to say thank you. I guess it's a little reminder of how much power words actually have for us as humans.
Anyway, that's my bit for the day. The reason I say I'm recovering is because I'm recovering from myself. I've had a lot happen to me in the last few years and so I'm just starting to try to break out of my shell again. So yeh.
