NEWs

Trust me, change is.....harder and easier than I ever thought it could be.  Never realized it till now.  However, I think I pinpointed what it is for me that helps change come about, and change for the better, just to be clear.  

    For me it starts by figuring out what and who I want and need to be.  What do I want to be seen as? What role do I want to play in the lives of those I interact with on a regular basis.  Who do I want to be to each person?  Do I want to be a co-worker, a friend, a brother, or maybe even husband in some situations.  I find that determining a balance between who I want to be and who I need to be is the start for me. 

    Second for me is setting my boundaries.  Taking a step back and looking at who I want and need to be, and seeing what will be conducive and what will be harmful to me being that person. At that point, I can set my boundaries and say "regardless of what happens, this is a key value that I will not give up on." If I set those boundaries, and determine those values when I'm not in any situations that present any real risk, I don't have to wonder if things will go south for me.

    Third, finally, and personally for me the biggest thing, is the people I choose to interact with.  I have a lot of circles that I have to be in, whether it's for work, or for sports, or travel, or whatever.  Those I have some control over, but not what I would call critical control. Those are people that it doesn't really matter if I am around them because I have reasons to be with them other than strictly being with them.  The interactions that I do have "critical control" over are those that I spend my free time with.  Those that I actively interact with solely for the sake of hanging out with or interacting with them.  Recognizing the difference between people that bring me pain and those who bring me joy is critical for me.  If you know anything about me, you know there's been a lot that has gone on for me with my emotions, and what that leads me to cling to.  However, finally letting go has been one of the greatest things to ever happen to me. Possibly my hospital visit did something that allowed me to finally break free of some of this stuff, but I absolutely love who I am now and love who I am becoming.  

    God's grace has been incredible to me, and I have seen so much of it.  I can't wait to see where he takes me in my future and I can't wait to learn even more how to give my life to him.