Fear: risk and reward

 There are some elements of fear that are given to us as gifts from God to keep us safe. There are other elements however, caused by the devil to cause divisions. I reference a time when I wasn't sure if I should reach out to my friend on their birthday because we hadn't talked for so long, and I was worried it would be awkward at best. However, as Will Smith said, "God placed the best things in life on the other side of terror." 

It also kinda reminded me of how much a simple "thank you" can really mean. I mean, I don't know what I expected from my friend considering the circumstances, but it wasn't for them to say thank you. I guess it's a little reminder of how much power words actually have for us as humans. 

Anyway, that's my bit for the day. The reason I say I'm recovering is because I'm recovering from myself. I've had a lot happen to me in the last few years and so I'm just starting to try to break out of my shell again. So yeh.

Should i

Am I supposed to keep going and hanging out with people who, at the end of the day,  make me feel like I'm worthless? People who when I'm with them I feel like an outsider? I mean, I'm not a super social guy, even though some people think I am. I'm just really not.

Life: Going?

    Between Boise State games, times of going to random food joints, going to see Christmas lights and stopping for coffee in what feels like the double decker bus straight out of Doctor Who, I am starting to realize that I have been blessed with an absolutely incredible friend that words can't really begin to describe. She always makes me smile, and always brightens up my day whenever I hear from her.  She's someone who I feel like makes me want to be better than I am at this point in life.  Someone who I want to become better for.  She brings out the best in me.  Not only that, but she cares about all the people around her, and she desires to be close to God.  She's beautiful, funny, smart, caring, crafty, silly, outgoing, and I could go on for a looong time about all the things I like about her, but all that I could say would be nothing compared to who she is because she's beyond words.  She's incredible and I can't wait to see what happens.

Life

All right, so I've gotten a couple questions as far as why I ended up asking what kind of friends I have on Instagram. So here it is. There's something big coming. I don't know exactly what but something is coming. When people get closer to God, Satin takes more direct aim at them. He does so because he's scared. I have noticed huge growth in by Faith Life and in the faith lives of those around me. There's a spiritual storm brewing, and I need to know who I can rely on. I can't be trying to rely on half-assed "friends" that don't actually care about what happens to me. That's why I asked to know exactly where I stand with you. Again to clarify, this isn't something bad that's happening, it's something good. Still, things are going to get significantly harder so I need to know who is there for me no matter what.

Reignite recognition

Hanging out with a few friends has shown me a few things. I've heard plenty of stories of people in my friends lives who just simply aren't good people. This brought a realization that I still have a lot to offer. I think that it's time for me to open up maybe a little bit more to see what I can bring.

September vigilant

For now. Those two words. They're what I'm holding onto. This is what depression feels like for me. I feel isolated. I feel like no one is there. I feel like it's impossible for me to care. It feels like the world is crushing me. But those two words are still there. I feel isolated for now. I feel like no one is there for now. Etc. For now, it's a time to be vigilant and watch for when the time comes to open up again. Whether that's soon or very far in the future, this is a time to wait, watch and heal... For now.